What can I say? There really are no words to ease the ache of missing you, of longing to be with you again, to hear your girlish giggle- but maybe you’re a young lady now and I missed watching you grow up? The pain of separation is still just as painful as the first day and I’m still choosing to trust that Papa will somehow make up the time we missed spending with you. I’m choosing to dance with Papa while the tears stream down my face. I will always miss you because I will always love you.
Your presence we miss, Your memory we treasure, Loving you always, Forgetting you never,
Mom and Dad, JoAnn, Justin & Stephanie and Felicity, Jana, Jodi & Janessa
I touched on this briefly in my last post. I want to explore it more—Why is wrestling with God a good idea? What does it mean or look like to wrestle with God? How might wrestling with God show me better who God is? What might wrestling with God teach me about me? I believe for my health, spiritually and emotionally, as I journey through the wilderness, the desert, or the valley; part of being healthy and growing is wrestling with God.
There are several Biblical examples of people who wrestled with God. The most well-known is Jacob in Genesis 32:22-32. I am not so sure that it’s important to figure out exactly who Jacob wrestled with, God or the Angel of the Lord, and maybe They are the same Person. I believe the important part is that Jacob wrestled and that he held on until he received a blessing and a new name. What blessing or new name might I receive if I keep wrestling with God through the hard, the painful?
Abraham in Genesis 18:16-33 kept asking God to keep saving Sodom if there were fewer and fewer righteous people. God had started with saving fifty people and Abraham kept asking God to save fewer people till he got the number down to ten. Abraham was essentially arguing or begging God to change His mind. God shows himself to be compassionate and gracious and slow to anger. I, like Abraham, can keep pleading, begging with God for things I or someone I love desires or longs for. Who do I need to intercede with God for?
Matthew 15:21-28 tells us about a Gentile woman who kept bothering Jesus and His disciples. She kept asking for help, for healing for her daughter. Jesus blesses her for her faith. So maybe wrestling with God is a sign of faith? Or at least continuing to ask for what I want realizing that what I have is not exactly what I wanted.
Luke 22:42-44 tells us how Jesus wrestled with God. “Please take this cup of suffering away.” An angel appeared and strengthened Jesus, but He prayed again and more fervently… that sounds like wrestling to me, and in the end, Jesus submitted to the plan that would save all those who will believe Him. To Whom or what do I need to surrender in my life?
I believe in my wrestling with God, I learn to know God deeper, in a more intimate way. When I watched my brothers wrestle as children, they got in each other’s personal space, right in their faces. They got very close to each other when they were wrestling- arm in arm, rolling around on the floor or ground, arms and legs going all over the place. Even their voices got involved- yelling, grunting. Similarly, when I wrestle with God, I turn to Him and tell Him (okay, honestly, I cry and yell sometimes) all about how wrong and unjust the loss, the hurt, the hard, and the pain has been. I want Him to stop it, to fix it, to JUST DO something with it. What if part of the gift is that in the wrestling, I am very close to God? It takes courage to be that honest and real with Someone, especially the Maker of me. I think it’s the authenticity and vulnerability of bringing my fears, anxieties, loss, and pain that touches the heart of my Papa God and He reveals Himself to those whose hearts are opened in the wrestle. And as a follower of Jesus, I want to do as He did, surrender to my Wise, Good Father who ultimately causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.
