The joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah 8:10

I’ve heard this verse so often over the years and honestly as a teen it frustrated me because it was always said to me when something bad was happening. It felt like a spiritual band-aid- we need a verse to say to spiritualize the hard time. I’ve also learned that when something keeps coming to me and I feel disturbed or unsettled by it; it is usually a really good idea for me to pause and sit with it. To question and ponder- Just what am I believing or feeling?

As I was pondering what I was feeling and looking at what I thought this verse meant; I realized I did not know what joy was or whose it was. I thought it was a happy, feel-good emotion that would give you strength to just keep on doing the work you’re asked to do. And, I also noticed it said the joy of the Lord. It’s not my joy and I can’t manufacture it and I don’t even have to try. It is the Lord’s joy.

Larry Crabb writes, “Brokenness is realizing He is all we have. Hope is realizing He is all we need. Joy is realizing He is all we want.”

The path to joy is often in joyless situations. It seems Joy is best learned from the teacher of pain. I believe I can only experience true joy when I no longer focus on stopping or avoiding the pain but instead embracing it and being honest and real about the loss that is causing the pain. I am no longer afraid to ask the hardest, most painful questions. I’ve learned that asking questions is one way my heart can be opened to experience God, to hear from God. Asking questions does not mean I’m demanding or expecting answers, it is one way to be authentic. Connecting moments of loss to a deeper power. That deeper power is joy…. Until we have an encounter with Jesus Christ, I don’t think we can understand joy.

I believe joy in grief or hard times looks different than joy in happy, pleasant times. Joy is sometimes tears streaming down my face because my heart is aching with grief and longing for my heavenly home. It is choosing to trust that my Father is creating beauty out of ashes. It is the feeling of an overwhelming, deep peace in my heart even though there’s chaos in my house and circumstances. Joy is focusing on my Father, not my fears. Joy is confidence in the goodness of God. Joy comes from worshiping at both altars- lament and praise: which is declaring the truth that God is faithful, and He is in the midst of the pain I am feeling and trauma I am facing. Joy comes from a dynamic faith, a knowing that “when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10 Joy is a sense of peace and contentment, a sense of freedom. It is being willing to learn some unfamiliar dance steps, trusting that my Papa is leading me in them.

I love this song “Faithfully” by TobyMac. I believe we will have true joy in our hearts when we realize that Papa God was there faithfully making a way for us, never leaving us.

But when my world broke into pieces
You were there faithfully
When I cried out to You, Jesus
You made a way for me
I may never be the same man
But I’m a man who still believes
When I cried out to You, Jesus
You were there faithfully

In my darkest hour, You met me
So quietly, so gently
You said You’d never leave
And you stood by Your word
So quietly, so gently
In all my pain, You met me
You said You’d never leave
And you stood by Your word