Sunday’s coming….

I’ve heard that quite frequently over the years and it’s a good-sounding cliché, but recently some rather strong feelings were aroused in my heart, so I started processing- Why is it bothering me? What is that cliché saying to me? And then it hit me- What about Saturday? Why aren’t we talking about Saturday? It felt like- “yes, it’s okay to talk about Friday, it was a horrible day but don’t dwell on it too much, just think about Sunday coming and all the good things that come with that day, but don’t think too much about Saturday, just try to hang on and deal with it the best you can.”

Friday- in the disciples’ world was the worst possible day. Their Leader/Teacher was unjustly tried, wrongly convicted and crucified. I put myself in their shoes and I get the fear, the anxiety, the questions, the terror and uncertainty of all that happened. I’ve lived through a few Friday’s when I thought for sure life was over and the reality is/was- the life I had known was over…but what happened Saturday?

Saturday- What were the disciples thinking, feeling?
I thought Jesus was going to save us but now He’s dead…
I thought Jesus was going to be king but now He’s dead…
I thought Jesus was going to set us free from the Romans but now He’s dead…
What did I miss? What did I not understand?
All I hoped for, longed for, wanted and wished….
Is gone- – dead…along with the One I thought was key to making it all happen.
Have I been a fool? Have I been following a fraud? I just don’t get it… I just don’t understand…

But what if I need to live through Friday to be broken enough to be willing to process Saturday, so I can really experience and appreciate Sunday? If I never experience death, how can I experience life? “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity.” John 12:24-25 What if the process of Saturday is what my heart needs to be broken open to receive Papa’s love? What if Saturday is all about being unsettled in my own ability to figure life out, to make life work for me? What if it’s about becoming okay to ask questions that have no answer? What if Saturday is about finding our how much my heart really does trust Papa and His promises?

Tomorrow will be Saturday, May 9; six years since I came home from the hospital. And in some ways it seems the last six years have been a very long Saturday. So many questions, so much uncertainty, so many frustrations, so much I don’t understand. But Jesus came out of that grave. He answered some of the disciples’ questions. I believed He explained some things to them over the next forty days. And I personally know that Jesus. I’ve experienced Him walking beside me. He’s promised never to leave me and He hasn’t. Yes, at times the pain and the questions almost hid Him but I’ve come to recognize a feeling, a peace way down deep in my heart and I’ve found out when I still myself, my heart and focus on that feeling of peace it grows. “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 No, the pain doesn’t leave and the questioned aren’t all answered but I don’t have to dance alone. “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever!” Psalm 30:11-12 And Jesus has experienced pretty much the same stuff I struggle with and Papa’s never left Him and Papa’s promised never to leave me. “This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.” Hebrews 4:15 and “For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5 He is the One I am trusting to lead me through the dance steps of this long Saturday. Sunday IS coming- it might be more than three days away but it’s okay and I am okay because God is with me. And I’m trusting, believing that He is what He says He is- A Redeemer – A Healer – A Beauty Maker – I can’t wait for Sunday to get here…
Oh what a day that will be!!!